HUSBAND: “You’re divorcing me? After 30 years together?”
WIFE: “Yes! I’m divorcing you.”
HUSBAND: “But why? I love you, Kelly, I always have, and I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, not ever!”
WIFE: “That’s true! You never cheated and you never drank or gambled.”
HUSBAND: “I did NOTHING and you’re divorcing me? Are you having an affair?”
WIFE: “NO! I’m not! Do you want to know why I’m leaving you Zack? When you—”
“…when I had that cancer scare last year, and I sat in the waiting room alone for five hours because you said you ‘didn’t want to waste a vacation day if it was a false alarm.'”
Zack stammered, “But… it was a false alarm! I was right!”
“That’s the point, Zack,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “You were right. You’re always logical. You’re always ‘good’ on paper. But you aren’t kind. And you aren’t a partner.”
“I realized in that waiting room that I have been alone for 30 years. You didn’t cheat, no. You did something worse. You ignored me while staring right at me.”
“I’d rather be actually single than married to a ghost.”
She dropped her wedding ring on the table. It made a hollow sound, just like their marriage.
“I want to be loved, Zack. Not just ‘kept’ like a reliable appliance. Goodbye.”
